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Not much hodown in Motown
by Michael Eaves / June 16, 2004

What’s up with the Pistons Dancers? I know all of them can’t be cute, but can I get one? Don’t get me wrong, I realize being cute is not necessarily a prerequisite for becoming an NBA dancer. But if you are not cute, you had better be able to shake what your mama gave you. And shake it well!

I would love to have witnessed the auditions, because if these are some of the best dancers in the Detroit area, the talent level has dropped tremendously since the heyday of Motown. You mean they couldn’t find any of Eminem’s video girls?

I am not trying to suggest that dancing in front of 22,000 people is easy. But come on, even David Stern can keep an 8-count.

Step up your game, ladies. Detroit is too good of a team for the dancers to be that bad.

HACKING IT AT OAKLAND HILLS

Detroit has long been considered one of the best sports towns in the country. The fans love their teams when they are winning and when they are cellar-dwelling. The passion is unparalleled – but we won’t talk about the whole car-burning celebration thing.

However, Detroit’s ranking among the best sports cities does not solely rely on The Big Four sports. One of the best major championship golf courses in the world lies in the northwest suburb of Bloomfield Township – Oakland Hills Country Club.

Thanks to the hospitality of two members – Tim and Tom Dolan – I got the chance to play the site of this year’s Ryder Cup along with some of my fellow television sports homies – Stuart Scott, Doc Rivers, Greg Anthony, Tim Legler and Ron Harper. How’s that for a group?

I would break down the games of all those who played, but there is no need to call them out like that. Plus, I might mess up their future sandbagging on bets. However, it goes without saying that the host of five U.S. Opens was more than a match for this gathering of personalities. But we all got our hacks in!

BEST FAN SIGN:Lakers: The only way you’re getting a ring is if you marry J-Lo!”

MOST TELLING SIGHT: Lakers owner Jerry Buss rolling out with his harem of honies during the third quarter.

SADDEST SIGHT: Karl Malone in street clothes unable to help his team stave off elimination.

CELEBRITY SIGHTINGS: Jack Nicholson, Aretha Franklin, Julius “Dr. J” Erving, Kid Rock, Hank Williams Jr., Kwame Brown, Tommy “The Hit Man” Hearns, Tom Izzo and Bill Laimbeer.

Michael Eaves covers the NBA for FOX Sports West in Southern California. You can reach him at meaves@foxsports.net

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